dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
