You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
