I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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