why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize