weddingsv make me drug and hornr
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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