The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
