fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
accomplished twins. life is a go
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
