This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Green mimosas i think yes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
