U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
