At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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