I love black thongs
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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