Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
