I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
