is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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