ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize