So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize