Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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