Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh god it's open bar.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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