why didn't you poke me back
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
