I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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