One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
