isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
