Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
