oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
