just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
