The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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