Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry princess98248 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

Fav 36 3317 1356
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

Fav 36 5275 1181
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Me specifically?

(903): View more from Texas

Yep.

Fav 44 10104 1552
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

Fav 8 4476 1389
share tweet
(520): View more from Arizona

So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?

Fav 3 1029 949
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO

Fav 4 658 983
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?

Fav 7 1490 653
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

Fav 0 625 582
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.

Fav 0 36 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT