you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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