Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
