if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
