I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You made out with two different species that night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
