i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
