so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
