OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
