you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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