wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
