yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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