I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
