its not stalking. its research.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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