you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
