i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
