so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
