HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
