I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize