so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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