Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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