Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
