Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
