I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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