Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
