Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
