Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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