She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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