I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
