chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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