dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
