Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
