Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
