Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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