girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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