Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
