Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
