yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
