I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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