i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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