ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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