I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
