There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
