Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
