and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
