Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She even gives head with a lisp.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
